Every once in a while some thing happens......some strange event, or maybe some one comes along and there is this spark of revelations...
And i feel tempted to write....
But it does not happen to often anyways.
So what happened this time, what invoked this knee jerk reaction to make me want to write today? well to tell you the truth, i don't know :)
But then it ws like, i was enjoying my weekend and all. Basically doing nothing at all, and from nowhere, came this whole avalanche of questions? A whole lot of questions.....which i have been asking myself many a times. And o tell you the truth i have never really figured out a "perfect" answer. Like this one, "What is Happiness"?
Now i tell you this is one solide gold question ok! everytime i ask this question my answers change. And that drives me nutts. and i have this stupid habit now of actually "Writing" down the answers. and my oh my .......all of them are damn diffrent.
Back in college, happiness was getting through exams alive....then it became finding a job i loved. This happiness then suddenly morphed itself, into "finding ANY job"
and then momentarily it was doing the best in my job.
and soem where during the transitions and turn of pages pooor happiness, got , well, kinda ......LOST!
i do not really know where is my happiness right now. Is it in doing the right thing for my carrer, or is it doing the best in my job right now? o is it in making my folks happy? or is it in doing the right thing and basically being a fucckin boy scout!
Well i am sorry i know my language is taking a toss
Anyways the thing is that now she has got lost., and its been quiet some time since i could really find it. But then i thought of this stupid blog n all and i suddenly started missing some of my really good frnds here. Like marie Frey.....i used to like that one...and at some point of ime, gettin comments from her used to make me happy. Take Pallavi Sharma, my little wookie, my gaurdian angel. I tell you if you find one frnd who even comes 1 % close to what this girl is, well you will not need to keep lookin for happiness no more. Like i am.
But then, i do not know even why i am thinking about you all. Why i miss you all? Buy i know for sure that i have lost something, my happiness, my focus and my resolve. I let things happen to me to a point where i lost control.....and i am not being able to grab hold of that ever elusinve cliche' of a "Perfect Happy Life"
it will take me some time to figure that one out but one day i am going to crack this code....i am going to find out the root of all this. Which makes people go round n round.....
Well till then.....have a nice life
