A Little Bit of Humour................

Revelations Part Two

Well, before I could even post the second part of this series I came to know that the guy I had saved that day in the accident, died yesterday.

But somehow it did not even register in my system. Detachment can work wonders in your life at times. Come to think of it now, maybe he was supposed to die that day itself. Or maybe I was destined to give him 20 extra days to live. Who knows? But this is not about him, is it? I am supposed to tell you what I learnt, what revelations came to me?
Well it’s crazy, but as I was traveling in the mountains on a bike, I saw a lonely try, by the end of the road. And somehow it got me to think of how many travelers must have passed him by. How many people must have seen it, and not cared about it. How many people must have stopped to take a leak right on top of it? How many storms this tree would have stood by? But at the core of it, did it feel sad about it all? Did this tree even care about people passing by it and never caring about it. Well, you can say that tree does not have feelings, like we humans have, but how can some thing so beautiful, so profound not have feelings? I don’t think so that can be.

My answer to this dilemma was that nature created everything perfect and complete in itself. But somehow down the line, we humans have "Degraded". We depend too much on other people for opinion. We get hurt when they go out of our life. We care too much about our surrounding, never nourishing the inner garden that we have. We were created in total perfection but somehow we forget that. We manage to do that. Anyways these are only my crazy thoughts. You do not have to agree with them.

Revelations Part One

Certain events in your life, force you to stop at times and wonder, think of things you rather never think of. And force you to make changes, which you never deemed important or even necessary. I have just come out of some similar events in my life. If you have to understand what i actually mean i will have to tell this like a proper story. Otherwise my meaning will get distorted.

Lets just go back to March 1'st. There is no reason why i am going back to this particular date, but infact it makes no difference whether i start this on march 1'st or Feb. 1'st. You will understand the reason soon. The thing is that all the events that had been happening till that particular date, had forced me to believe that how meaningless and how vague my life had become. All through my life i have had this love for my profession, that is Mechanical Engineering. And my life was going nowhere. so naturally i was pretty tense. And i am not the kind of person who surrounds himself with a million friends and forgets his worries in the "Mob Mentality". So the few really special people i had around me, were having there own problems. So that time i was of the view that my life had come to its lowest ebb. But seemingly the old man above ( Call him God if you are the religious types), had some really different plans. throwing me on the ground and making me bite dust was really not enough. So he decided to actually bury me forever.

What followed thereafter is something, that most people know. If you have been following my blog, then i have already told you about the accident i was involved in. That particular event made me feel as if all this is so useless. What is the use of digging your ass deep in the ground to make your destiny, when you do not even have a destiny? What is the use of burning everyday when Mr. Old Man above has everything written down for you? what is the god damned use of seeing dreams, that will never come true? And what is the use of loving people so fragile, that they can actually disappear forever from this planet within a second?

Well this is the crap that was going on in my head at the time. So naturally i went home. I have always believed that being among the people who love you and who understand you can solve any and all the problems in your life. But then again Mr. Old man wanted to have some fun. He decided to put my family into troubles too. now what really happened is just another huge story, but in just one day, my dad lost everything he had accumulated in his entire life. He is a hardworking and a really sincere kind of a person. And all of a sudden lightning struck and just 2 years before his retirement, it seemed we had lost everything. Now the natural course of my steep decline should have been something like a suicide or something.

But then fate again intervened, and i went on a vacation with a really special person. This time Mr. Old Man above said, "OK! this guy has had enough. Lets solve his problems now". Maybe they have this "Human Rights Organization" above which must have intervened on my behalf or something. And guess what in just 3 days, my life was back to normal.

But you can never say that my life came back to what it was. the revelations that have come during this period have been the most valuable lessons of my life. And in the three days i took the vacation in the mountains i wrote them all down.

I feel that the kind of love i got from people i hardly knew a few days back, helped me put all those things together. And just for them, those few "Special people" in my life i have decided, that i will share the best lessons of my life during the course of these days. Before i end this, as a summary of what is to follow, all i can say is that in the end, all this pain and all this sorrow is worth it!

Yes i know Mr. Old Man really gives you a pain in the ass, but he is "God" after all ;)
Maybe things appear really unfair to us sometimes, but then he never reveals his plans for us. And one thing i can assure you folks, he has something special for each one of us.

hi....Guess i'm back!!!

Life has funny ways. One day you are so sad and so tense that you can hardly stabd up, and the very next day you feel so alive that you fall in love with life. After what happened on 4th march, i guess i was in the lowest ebb of my life. But then, as they say, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, i found my happiness again. In the process i have written lots of good stuff, which i will be posting within a day or two. But right now all i can say is that "Every problem, has a solution", it just matters, that how hard you are willing to push to find it.....

Its good to be able to communicate with you folks out there.

What happened on 4th March.........

A few days back i was going in a three wheeler on a busy highway. And suddenly there was a terrible crash and I saw a Maruti Van barreling towards us, out of control at almost 90 km/hr. but before it could hit us, it hit a guy on a scooter and another pair of folks on a motorcycle, and missed us by an inch.

As soon as we stopped and I ran towards where the guy on the scooter had fallen, I could see him surrounded by a whole bunch of people and everyone was saying that he is dead. No one was even touching him. But as soon as I got near him I could see a big fountain of blood coming out of his right leg and he was breathing. I figured out that if he is breathing I must help him. But soon as I bent near him and looked at his leg, I realized that one was missing. At first for a minute or so it just did not sink in but then I saw his leg lying at least 150 meters away. And trust me I have never felt so much fear in my whole life. I have never been so shaken at anything, ever in my whole damn life. And I almost had a heart attack. And from a little medical knowledge I had I knew he would have bled to death in just about 5-6 minutes.

And I was so baffled that I could not move my hands for a long time. And nobody was helping; they were just standing there and watching. So then and there I knew that this guy has just one shot at life, just one ray of hope, and that is me. That if I do not help him I will regret it for the rest of my life. And then I took a decision to save him, no matter what. No matter what it may take. So I tied two tourniquets around his leg but the bleeding would not even slow down. His main blood vessel was hanging from his leg so I took it in my hands and tied a knot on it. So that stopped the bleeding. But then no one on the highway was stopping. And all the people there were just watching and doing nothing at all. Can u believe that?

Somehow I managed to stop another 3 wheeler, and with no help at all got him into the three wheeler. And you know he was talking to me all the way to the hospital. He asked me, “Did I loose my leg?” and I told him, “Are you kidding, if that would have happened you would have been in pain”!! and he actually believed in me. I knew that if he went into a shock he would not last for even a minute. So I kept him talking and all. But you know what was going in my head. That this is Fucckin unfair. Just because some moron thought that he was a wise guy, and could drive on the wrong side, this kid is almost dead. And trust me, I prayed like I have never prayed in my life. all the while I was thinking” God dun let this kid die in my arms, coz if he did, I will never be able to look into the mirror, ever again.

But in the end I got him to the hospital, what happened there is just another story. The kind of mismanagement we have in the hospitals, will take me a month to write about. But anyhow he survived. And thank god he is ok now.
He has some injuries to his spine and all.

On one side I think how unfair life is. How unjust! That guy was going for an job interview, would he have ever wondered that in a short time, his life was about to be changed. Forever. And on the other side, I came to know how fragile our own lives are. If everything depends on god damned destiny then what is the use anyway!

I have not been able to come out of this since. Though I am trying my best to get over this. But so many “What ifs” continue to haunt me. Everyday I go off to sleep it goes on again and again in my head and it is driving me crazy. If god has a plan for me then what is the use of a million dreams i see everyday..........

Sorry For the Delay

hey folks.
i am so sorry for not putting anything on the blog for a long time now. i've been recieving lots of mails asking me waht is wrong? the thing is that i was involved in an accident. nothing happened to me, but i certainly saved a life. but what actually happened is still tormenting me, and i have not written anything since. but i will sure get back to all of me lovely friends out there in a day or two.......

END

It creeps through your skin
And seeps through your veins
Like blood running out of your eyes
It burn holes in you soul

You want to cry, but there are no tears
You want to moan but your throat is choked
You want to run but your legs ain’t there no more

Like seeping death it crawls over you
And you see your clock tick
Minutes falling like yellow leaves in a spring
It hurts? Yes it does…….
But then you don’t care no more, Do you?

One last effort to scream
One last cry before your eyes close
But is it not too late already
The hour of forgiveness is long past……

In that last blur of a vision
In which I see what I called as life
It suddenly dawns on me, how things “Could” have been!
How life was meant to be lived
Chances I got and chances I lost
Agony is the last word…..darkness is reality……

Searching for you.....

The days are unusually quiet
The nights are cold,
I wait for you to come in the moonlight
But I never feel that you are there.

Then I cry, but still you watch me
From a distance
Then I ask myself
“Why am I so in love with you?”
Just a little wind blows, and I get my answer.

At times I do try to figure out, who or what you are?
Maybe just a hallucination
Maybe just an illusion
Maybe a mirage in a lonely mind
But I know you hide just behind that corner
And laugh at my questions,
Because the answer lies, somewhere inside of me
One day I know I will find you
We will then laugh and cry together
But till the time we blend for eternity
I guess I will be searching for you……