Free Will

One of the many things given to us on this planet is “Free Will”. Well, contextually, that means that all the time we can decide what we do. That essentially translates into, “Choices”. I was talking to a friend of mine who have had a particularly painful experience in the past. That got me into thinking that how “Free”, is actually this “Free Will” we talk about.

Everyday there are so many events and people who trigger numerous reactions in us. We feel pain when we loose someone we love, we feel happy when we meet someone we cherish, a careless driver on the road pisses us off, a person voicing his opinion on something might offend us, so many of them to name here. And many of these we feel, consciously and many of them keep on going at a Subconscious level. But, then what are these reactions. I believe they are nothing but our own “CHOICES”, to be hurt, to be happy, to be dazzled, to be confused and so on.

But why do we choose to get hurt. Well, that needs some explanation here. We choose to get hurt, because we need the lessons that come out of that turmoil in life. There are always more than two ways to look at a thing. For instance, if my Girl friend runs away with my brother tomorrow, I can choose to feel devastated and break his neck, or I may even thank him for opening new options for me. Or maybe if I am not getting a job and I feel bitter at things I could have been doing then maybe instead of choosing to feel lost, can’t I “Choose” to feel, that I still have a whole array of options in front of me? Or let’s take a simple example, why do we not choose to feel hurt when we see a lovely lady? Cry over the fact that how beautiful she is and bemoan the fact that someone else will go to bed with her tonight? Well, choices, choices, choices………..

But the question is that why we make certain choices which we do not really want to make. I guess that is where the real catch lies. The thing is that the “Free will” is not at all free. It’s rather “Conditioned Will”. And this conditioning starts the moment we are born. The teachers at school tell you that if you do not read or study you are bad. Mom tells us, you cannot jump over the wall. It will hurt. Books teach us History, Emotions; Shakespeare tells us what to feel when Juliet is separated from Romeo. So in essence, slowly over the time we stop making the choices we are given. We start living a life in which all responses are conditioned by History Classes. And we start living a life by default. Not ever realizing that the leash of happiness, and of life, lies in our hands. We can live the happiest most fulfilling life, simply by choosing that.

Well, actually the thing is that it is 3 AM here and I just “chose” to write the worst entry in my blog. So here I am writing something with one of my eyes closed. Anyways if you do make something out of this, do let me know. Remember its all A CHOICE, Your’s and mine :) :) :) :)

City of Angels

As a kid there were a few times, when I used to be totally completely lost. Too afraid from the world and what it had in store for me. Times like these, the whole world used to cave in around me. I used to feel so utterly lost and so eternally lost. Then I used to cry, there was no one around me who could understand what was going on.

But then when tears were all dried up, and my eyes swollen, I used to have this lovely feeling. Feeling of a hand touching my forehead. “Everything is going to be all right. Hang On! Everything is going to be fine” And then I used to feel so blissfully light. And everything made sense in those few seconds. I had just discovered my guardian angel. He never left my side. He was always there when I needed him. I used to call him “Amato Yoshi”. I really do not have an idea where that name came from, but whenever I felt lost Amato was there. Holding my hand and telling me that it’s going to be fine. Through the years as I got more engrossed in the life around me, I lost track of him. Amato Yoshi, my eternal angel slipped into the darkness. I no longer hear his voice. Now whenever I am afraid or lost or lonely, I read a novel, or watch a movie and I go off to sleep. And he never talks to me. He never tells me that I am better then I think I am. The reason why I remember him today is, that I was watching “City of Angels”. And if you have seen it I do not think I have to say anything else. But my Amato has left me lonely. I wonder he is still around me watching me, and trying to talk to me. How many times we ignore that faint voice in our heads? How many times we loose our angels?

Please i need to hear from you people about this or i might as well never write again. I am loosing direction folks i need you to tell me what you think about your angels.

Life goes on......

Life has funny ways. Revelations come to you when you least expect them, truths are revealed when you are not even looking for them and destinies change, at the blink of an eye. Most of the times, we live our lives by default. Not thinking about where we are going, what we are doing and most important, WHY we are doing the thing we do. We are driven by inertia in those times.
I was traveling in a bus the day before yesterday, and I saw this lovely sun set, and I just could not shake that feeling of a lump in my throat. How many sun sets do we miss, just thinking in our closed spaces, that another day has gone by? Never realizing that even in the dying light of that day, there is that immense joy and beauty that can touch you down to the bottom of your heart.
The day I die, I do not want to cringe, that how many things I did not see, or I missed. Or maybe things I could have done differently.........

“I wrote this while traveling, could not get much meaning out of it, but just posting this so that you people do not regret missing the beauty in the present day"

Something i wrote a long time back......

Make not thy soul nest in hell
Nor thy mind’s lodging in deception,
Wander not in neighborhood of foolishness & absurdities
Nor by the door of house of vain imagination
Abandon vain conceits

Whoso sows the seed of sloth,
Sloth will bring him impiety for fruits
Whoso took unto himself folly and sloth,
His legs lost their power & his work failed

I know nothing worse than sloth,
It turns warriors into cowards
You were created for work & a robe
Of honor is ready cut for thee.
Why are you content with tatters?
How will you get thy fortune when
You’re idle sixty days a month?
Idleness in the day & ease at night.
Though will hardly reach the throne of Sasanians.
Know that handle of the club & hilt of swords
Are crown and throne to kings who know
Not the moisture of weeping eyes
But he who wanders about after money and a meal
Cringes ignoble and vile before a clenched fist.

Possess knowledge, possess also serenity
Like the mountain be not distressed
At the disaster of fortune.
Knowledge without serenity
Is an unlighted candle, both together
Are like the bee’s honey.
Honey without wax typifies the noble,
Wax without honey is for burning.
Abandon this abode of generation and corruption
Leave the pit and make for thy destined home.
For on this dry heat of dust is mirage
And a fire appears as water.
The man of pure heart unites the two worlds in one
The lover makes but one of all the three abodes.

ILLUSIONS

ILLUSIONS
Your Only
obligation in any lifetime
is to be true to yourself.
Being true to anyone else or
anything else is not only
impossible, but the
mark of a fake
messiah.
-------- Richard Bach

The Responsible Newspaper

The News paper I believe is the voice of a country. It reaches the masses and it influences thoughts too. I was reading today's Times of India. And the degree, to which journalism has degraded, truly amazes me. Like, this paper is the largest selling paper in the whole wide world.
Let's just keep our discussion to the root of the evil. They call it 'soft porn'. But why the hell do we have to put Soft Porn on the Editorial page. And especially when you are writing about the sudden boom in the sensex. I am talking about this article by some 'Bachi Karkaria'; she uses words like a 'Cosmic Phallus' to describe the rise of the sensex. FINE, I have no problem with analogies, but where you draw your tangents show what kind of thought goes on in your head. Does the youth of our nation looks for pleasurable analogies in such hugely important and sensitive issues too. And describing the widespread euphoria as an 'Orgy'. If this is the way we think then in a very short time kids will start thinking of school as a 'Prostitution House'!!!! Like WHAT THE HELL.
Anyways my point here is that Indian youth now is responsible enough and educated enough, that we do not need 'Soft Porn' to read a good newspaper. There are other better places to find that. I don�t know if any of you might agree with me on that one, but seriously, I�d hate to think my opinions reflected by a cheap porn magazine of sorts.
"

 
 

The Awakening

I was reading this book, by Jack Welch, "Winning". It would be shear euphemism to say that this book is just brilliant. But it got me to thinking about one incident in my life which I have lived over and over again.

In the year 2002, which is when I started my Mechanical Engineering, I and one of my friends got hooked onto this idea, of making a Rocket. A real flying machine with solid rocket boosters. We had plans to send experiments onboard to desired heights. Now we had the idea, we knew the technical stuff involved. But what we did not have was money. One thing led to the other and we decided to set up a full time research lab which would fund this project. And we got so engrossed in making this lab work, getting the funding, the infrastructures, the people, that the real AIM, for which we were doing all this slipped out of my mind altogether. By the time I could actually figure out what was happening, I was too tied to get out of it. The reason I am talking about all this here is, that even in the best of my times, I have not been able to figure out why we did not succeed. Now, mind you, we had the best people you can find, but yes, the facilities and the support that goes into those things was seriously missing. Anyhow whatever the reasons were, I kept looking for answers for almost 2 years. I was even afraid to dream of something or even to try something real, due to the fear of failure.

Now, Jack talks about a quality that organizations must have, and that is Candor. He tells us that for organizations to succeed, the people involved must speak out. The manager should create an environment where everyone can speak out, freely and objectively. Looking back at it, the real reason I see now that killed my Little Company was, we all lacked Candor. There was unbound enthusiasm, everyone had a vision, technically everyone knew his business but what they lacked in was Candor. I as a manager was too busy leading them on, pushing them harder and stronger, and forgetting that they must also speak out. But then, there is a contradiction here. Is it not every person’s first duty towards an organization, not to accept things as they are? Is it not a part of an employees job to stand up and say “Sir, This is where you are messing up big time?"

Anyhow that was my first failure. And it took me almost 2 years to get out of it. That was my awakening, as I see it now.

First Post

Since this is my first blog, i must first introduce myself. Well, i am a "Traveller". My journey began ofcource when i was born, but the truth is that i actually set on this journey just a few years back. The realization suddenly came to me that there is something more to life, there is something more refined then just being carried away by inertia.

I have been travelling ever since.

I have looked for meaning everywhere, searched for the hidden answers, which i must confess are still coming. But yes, i found a few things in this journey which i thought must be told. Because i am sure there are other souls out there looking for meaning. So we will continue this journey together . Whoever wishes to join this Traveller, is most welcome.

The reason i call life as a journey is that even if you remove all constraints, all bondings, you are still driven by something. That ubiquitous element is so potent and so unescapable that we all have to depend on it, in one degree or another. I am talking about TIME. We may stand still, but TIME moves on, and carries us through this journey. Now we make it lovely or not, is our own special choice.

You are all welcome aboard............