Power on........

India in its true form and grandeur has finally arrived. The first day I felt this emotion was not through reading a politicised jingle proclaiming “India Shining” or not through some historical mention of India’s greatness, but at the launch of the much awaited “One Lakh “car. I am one of the few fortunate Indians who were present at the event, where as many would like to say, the “wheel was reinvented”. There in that jam packed pavilion, there was no visible sign of Indian flag, or a picture of Mahatma Gandhi portrayed anywhere but “India” was written all over the place.

With the launch of “Nano”, TATA Motors finally made the world to realize the great euphoria of the celebration called “India”. This India has arrived with the cutting edge technology presenting the world, with, not an apology of a car, but with leading edge improvements in cost savings, logistics and a planning inspired not by the entrepreneurial greed to break open a new market segment, but by a desire to solve a common man’s problems. Standing there in that pavilion, you could make out the glow on the people’s faces. The shine of the Audi’s, BMW’s and Volvos’ were way outshined by the average Indian going through “His Country’s own” brand. A brand which has so ubiquitous that it had largely become un noticeable in India. But suddenly TATA Motors catapulted itself to leading edge automobile major from an average Indian company. A man walked up to me that day and told me the words which will outshine the glitter of all the pay checks put together, he said “Thanks! You people have made us proud to be an Indian again”

And with the country largely populated with people in the age group of 20- 30 India has taken an all new shape. I was standing in an office building one day waiting with almost 15-20 “average” Indians waiting for the elevator to arrive. And there in this LCD screen I saw the Reliance Power’s new ad campaign “Power on” and I thought that India is actually powering on now. India is actually roaring to go and surge ahead on the backs of the youth who is now beginning to feel a part of this country again. And I smiled just a bit feeling proud to be a part of the movement which was putting India in a place it truly deserves. And when I took of my eyes from the screen I could sense the same spirit reflected in the faces of men standing with me under those little smiles. Everyone feeling responsible for powering, India on.

It’s actually wonderful to see the kind of commitment and excitement going on all around the country. We are no longer working for the MNC’s rather we are going out and taking those companies over. Transforming dead firms into profit producing units by nothing but that undying diligence so common in the average Indian. The Indian who is comfortable sitting with the britishers in air conditioned board rooms, wearing Gucci business suits and who travels almost with the same comfort and ease in a DTC bus packed with people on his way back home. An Indian who proudly walks into interview rooms filled with corporate executives feeling proud to be what he is.

India has finally arrived.

It’s like a movement an invisible force pushing people on. Like a sudden fountainhead of creativity and youth has sprang up enriching each and every part of the country. Chak de, Rang de basanti, Lead India, Indian MNC’s, Power on.......all being one manifestations of a single united message, “World watch out, India is coming”.

Here i am ..........On the Road AgAiN

Morning starts with a whiff of soft wind blowing on me cheeks. and i am conccious of nothing but the fact that there is a little pain in my neck. and i crane it a bit and yank it some....side to side and up and then again on one side. CRACK!!!!!! wow that sure sounds and feels good

and all i can feel in that moment is happiness , immense happiness at the start of a new day

but who knows what all this day has to bring to me. how many times will i be told to put a comma in my sentence, or to start it with a CAPITAL

AND NOT TO PUT unNECESSARY spaces between the paragraphs

or maybe told to wait outside for over an hour at a client site only to be told to come back later in the week on a saturday.

or maybe when i am riding a metro some pimply fat assed lady will come along and claim that i have no right to be seated

but then it does not give me a reason not to smile at the end of the day right?

and to smile at the thought of the possibilities that life has to offer and life which is so grand that it brings all new challenges and all new surprises everyday

well its so strange u know.. its like u standing under a tree and u poop ( thats my expression for anything that flows.....dun ask for an explanation.....u will not like it )

anyways u poop down there, under the tree and then u come back to that spot , that same very spot where you were earlier and it will not be the same, in any way

i mean life is like that, u keep running around and then nothing will be the same. but if ur sitting god damn still some one will sneak under ur nose and paint FUCK OFF just when ur having a good time ( thanks Mr. Salinger for that line(

anyways so what i mean here is that i had taken a few pics

which i have posted ahere at the pretence of writing a blog and connecting those pictures in intricate sensse to what i have written here

but i am tired now

you just SEE THE PICTURES HERE

AND YOU DAMN WELL LEAVE SOME GOOD COMMENTS OR YOU WILL ALSO SHUT DOWN WITH YOU PC

and then u will have to hold your tounge out and put one finger on ur butt and press enter to get started again

anyways i know that was a bad ass joke, me sense of humor took a beating ever since i read Joseph Heller

will get better

as such i am not looking for a pulitzer in blogging

see ya

have a nice life

Janis Joplin "Mercedes Benz"

Oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?


Oh lord, wont you buy me a color tv ?
Dialing for dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh lord, wont you buy me a color tv ?

Oh lord, wont you buy me a night on the town ?
Im counting on you, lord, please dont let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,Oh lord, wont you buy me a night on the town ?


Everybody!
Oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?

Random thoughts from an empty mind

The biggest irony of life …….well the biggest farce played out on all humans is the belief that life has a greater meaning and a greater cause. When we are young and all, we are told that you have to search for that “Greater Cause”. Textbooks and textbooks and millions of pages are written and taught and chewed and spit till they almost become a cliché. The words telling us about life’s of great men and woman who supposedly “ Found “ that greater calling of there lives.

Plato , Einstein, Madame Curie, Napoleon, Iacocca and a million others who lived for a greater good and a greater cause.

We keep on believing and we keep on looking for that greater cause all throughout our lives. Believing that one day we will find that elixir of life, the alchemist’s gold and things will suddenly change for us. Even I am the one who kept believing that and kept searching for it. Until recently I was watching this movie, “wonder Boys”, where the guys says once, “Life is something that happens to us when we are looking for something else”


Well I could habve dismissed the thoughts that followed like any other thought provoking ideas are auto filtered in my system but then again on a closer introspection I found that these 23 odd years, in which I have been trying to stay alive, more then 15 were spent creating tools which one day will help me make a career in the future, then next 5 were spent specializing the tools which one day will help me to get in the “future” and possible land a good, decent and high paying job. And then the next 2-3 years I was tryng to make a career which will one day help me settle down in the “ future” and now recently the latest thing on ma mind is, retirement planning and my “future” kids education plans. Well and if I count in all the holidays, being sick, attending family functions and all, then I guess the total will come to around 365 odd days. So one out of 23 years, I actually was living. Doing the things I want to do. Watching the green leaves, doing nothing and basically feeling alive. Extrapolate that a bit and if I manage to stay alive till another say 40 years I will die a very sad man coz I would have lived for only around 3-4 odd years. So 56 years of toil so that I can live for just 4 years.

All this time I keep on living in the future when I am loosing out the life that is tickling away right here right now. The life I can spend being happy about today, about here and about now. If only I can detach my mind from 2010, I may notice all the reasons I have to be happy right now. Alll the tiny little details that are around me which can make me happy right here in this moment. I guess its like a veil over my eyes and in moments like this when this veil is suddenly lifted I find as if everything is “ok”.

All of a sudden things become so beautiful. And almost in the same instant all this weight that I feel in my head is lifted. And I feel so alive again. But then in a moment the cell phone rings and there is some one giving me a 1 lakh rupee loan, or maybe one of ma friends wants to share his career planning with me, or maybe it’s the mobile phone company reminding me of my overdue bills. And then the moment is lost and trust me no matter how hard I try it does not come back too often..


Well I got inspired by my own writing and I decided to come and sit outside in the balcony, outside the 4 walls I spend my life in. The walls remain almost the same. The location keeps on changing. One point of time I am confined in the four walls of my house and in the next moment I move to rthe four walls of my office. And if maybe I need a change I go to see the walls of a restraunt. But like I said the walls remain more or less the same. . Well that’s my life for now.

Anyways coming back to the point. I guess education should be modified a bit and there should be a different subject called “life” which should teach you how to live. How to make mistakes and learn from them. How to be a fool and still get by. How not be great and still be happy. It should teach about all the people like Einstein and all and still tell you in bold and underlined text, that Einstein as a kid loved doing what he did as an adult. That Einstein compromised a lot to do what he loved to do. He was not emulating anyone. But he was being an average clerk in a govtt. Office and finding time to live in the moment and do what he loved to do.

How madame curie got cancer doing what she was doing and loving. Had these people been living for the future glory I doubt very much that they would actually have got it. And imagine a “Newton” sitting under the tree and thinking about his next job change, I doubt he would have given a damn if the apple was falling or maybe if the whole damn tree would have fallen. Poor gravity would have got compromised because of someone’s career planning.


Well I am beginning to think that if all these things I am trying to tell you are actually true then what the hell am I doing on this stupid lap top?

He he he he

That’s what life is I suppose. Happy journey anyways!!!!!!!!!!!

The Journey into the Unknown...

Every once in a while some thing happens......some strange event, or maybe some one comes along and there is this spark of revelations...

And i feel tempted to write....

But it does not happen to often anyways.

So what happened this time, what invoked this knee jerk reaction to make me want to write today? well to tell you the truth, i don't know :)

But then it ws like, i was enjoying my weekend and all. Basically doing nothing at all, and from nowhere, came this whole avalanche of questions? A whole lot of questions.....which i have been asking myself many a times. And o tell you the truth i have never really figured out a "perfect" answer. Like this one, "What is Happiness"?

Now i tell you this is one solide gold question ok! everytime i ask this question my answers change. And that drives me nutts. and i have this stupid habit now of actually "Writing" down the answers. and my oh my .......all of them are damn diffrent.

Back in college, happiness was getting through exams alive....then it became finding a job i loved. This happiness then suddenly morphed itself, into "finding ANY job"

and then momentarily it was doing the best in my job.

and soem where during the transitions and turn of pages pooor happiness, got , well, kinda ......LOST!

i do not really know where is my happiness right now. Is it in doing the right thing for my carrer, or is it doing the best in my job right now? o is it in making my folks happy? or is it in doing the right thing and basically being a fucckin boy scout!
Well i am sorry i know my language is taking a toss

Anyways the thing is that now she has got lost., and its been quiet some time since i could really find it. But then i thought of this stupid blog n all and i suddenly started missing some of my really good frnds here. Like marie Frey.....i used to like that one...and at some point of ime, gettin comments from her used to make me happy. Take Pallavi Sharma, my little wookie, my gaurdian angel. I tell you if you find one frnd who even comes 1 % close to what this girl is, well you will not need to keep lookin for happiness no more. Like i am.

But then, i do not know even why i am thinking about you all. Why i miss you all? Buy i know for sure that i have lost something, my happiness, my focus and my resolve. I let things happen to me to a point where i lost control.....and i am not being able to grab hold of that ever elusinve cliche' of a "Perfect Happy Life"

it will take me some time to figure that one out but one day i am going to crack this code....i am going to find out the root of all this. Which makes people go round n round.....

Well till then.....have a nice life

Swapnil's Wonderful Work.......

Lost in Dreams.......and Lost in thoughts

The time eventually came, when i had to come and sit at my PC again and write something. The chain of thoughts that's been going on in my head just kept expanding and organically branching out in all possible directions.
Mostly it starts with a question!!!

And then you regret having asked it yourself.......

But then you cannot turn your back on things unsaid, its like acrid vapors hanging in still air. Refuse to go, until you let some fresh air flow in.
Anyways, it all started on a trip. I was on my way to Lucknow on board a Train. I love traveling in the train for two reasons. One, the passage of time is more real and the distance actually diminishes with time, as it does in most cases, but somehow the slow passage of time seems more natural more realistic to me somehow. Secondly i get ample time to nurture crazy thoughts like this one here, i am having with me right now.
I was enjoying the sun, the feel of those soft morning rays falling on my arms, that soft touch of cold morning wind touching my face, all of a sudden i felt "relaxed". Unguarded, Prone, all the layers on insulation i had been building between me and that question, all of a sudden were gone.

And i regretted it later. Much later. anyways it was too late for now.

So, i asked myself, Who am i? A profoundly simple and innocent question but it started a train of thoughts, "Where am i Going? , "what am i doing?", "Where is home?", "Where are the people who love me?", "What is it that i really want to achieve?". things like that. Fairly innocent questions, but trust me , they are not innocent. They can wreck hovocc on your simple cute little value system. Render it useless at most. Then you have to start all over again. Don't Try it at home, its not worth it. Anyways, so now the problem was that i had almost 8 hours of journey left with me now. People around me, were, well, no offense, the most boring people ever to have lived on this planet. One of them was a Fashion model or something, Cute 23 year old female ( Yes! My Age), who was mostly interested in talking about Italian fashion, which to me is "Hwwa hua wwaa chu chi ( Thats in Chineese i guess!!)
Anyways, there was this Uncle Ji, 50 - 80 years age , could have been anywhere between that bracket because there was no way i could tell, judging by his looks. He was an IAS officer in the fisheries department and all. One son in US working for some firm, getting a fat dollar check for it. One daughter wedded to a Minister of some sort. Anyways he was really interested in throwing me off the train, and ensure that i got killed in the process, because i told him, that i work for a British Firm. Notwithstanding the fact that his own son, was working for some Half Baked idiot in US, this uncle ji thought that I AM DRAINING INDIA'S WEALTH ( Wherever that is,bcoz i am not really sure if there is any wealth here at all ). And this uncle ji thought that i am single handedly responsible for the unemployment in india, for killing the local industry, the small scale things ( i did not even know, that small scale sector used to manufacture Heavy construction equipment, which incidentally my "Evil" company makes for a living), Killing the Agriculture. and i could tell by the way he was looking at me, that he'd just as soon as push me out of the train as he got the chance to do it. I wish the damn train had some kind of seat belts or something. damned Indian railways.
There was another guy there with me, sitting right in front of me. Mostly his jaw did not leave the train's floor ( Did i tell you his jaw fell down, when he saw that model come in and sit next to me? ), I could tell by the way that he looked at her, that he was building castles and mountains of fantasies, all around that beauty. For nine hours, his eyes never left her alone. So i could deduce that he was not a least bit interested in having a conversation with me. Throw me out perhaps but not talk to me. So i felt somewhat more uncomfortable. Damn the Indian Railways, they should have some kind of seat belts on.

And this one should get the Nobel prize in that little compartment of mine. He was the best among this little herd. Well, he had this mobile phone with him, which i don't know why, required him to scream his lungs out, or maybe i guess the person at the other end had a hearing disability. So it was like he was screaming at the top of his voice into the cell phone, and trying to sort all his personal problems then and there. Sorry but i really could not miss out the details that he was airing in that little compartment. Turned out his wife had a relation with this other neighbor they had and this guy in the train was telling each one of his relatives that he was going to kill her or something, when he got back home that is. And i am sure the way he built his case, the whole compartment must have sympathized with him, and maybe some people with good hearing in the other compartment too.He was so engrossed in this , conversation of his, that even when nobodies cell phone was working, his mobile companty must have decided to air some extra signal into the cell phone for him. Custom Made or something. The model babe sitting next to him was surely feeling sorry for the little soul. Anyways. So you see my surroundings were just perfect. Picture perfect, so i just could not turn the What and why questions out of my head.

You really should not be cornered that ways, i was, and trust me its not fun!

Anyways, so lets start with the first thing that came to my head. in just a few months my life has been a roller coaster ride. So many things have been happening and so many things changing all of a sudden that i have lost all contact with reality. Its like a dazed confused dream, that just refuses to go away. So the thing is that i as a person have felt so lost and so confused that i even lost the sense of passage of time.

the people i love and care for, well, they've mostly been busy with there lives, trying to bring order into their own little chaotic universes. Some settling down, some going with the flow, some taking challenges and taking the lead. Well as of me, i am on the sidetracks for most of them. A diesel engine left running on the sidelines by some one. like you notice it, and wonder why its there and you move on.

Well, so here i am right now, lost lonely and "Thinking" about things i should not be thinking about, i know!

Thinking back and analyzing all that has happened to me so far i wonder whats wrong? I have a job, it pays well, i am not under debt or something, i live in a commparitive luxury, my life has been fairly successful to this point. BUT, there is something missing. Something fundamental, like a small stone missing in the foundation, like a small chromosome missing in my DNA. The harder i think of it, the harder i hit the wall.

i am still looking for that answer, i am still cornered by the questions at times and i still grope in the dark looking for them. i guess you don't just bounce into answers all at once. its all a process you have to go through and the process is what we have to learn not the answers but the whole process, bit by bit one step at a time. I wonder when i am dying or something, would i be content with all the answers i would be having with me that time. Or would i be still saying " oh Hell! i just could not figure out why?"

Maybe this is the learning that comes from all the questions that you ask yourself in those lonely personal moments, that its not the answers that matter but the way you ask the questions , the way you face your daemons and the way you challenge them.

loneliness, it has a solution, there are a billions and billions of people out there, population bursting at its seams, and i just cannot seem to believe that you cannot find ONEn Right person in all that crowd, one person you can feel bonded with.

Challenge? there are billion things you can challenge yourself on. and if you do it right, you might as well emerge a winner. Small challenges at first and then you can take the world head on.

money, Home, Car, Kids, Loving wife, good job, satisfaction, happiness, bliss, contentment, good sex, wild sex, more money, even more money, prestige, respect, crowds, all have a single price i think. "Initiative"!!!!!

Every problem has a solution, you just have to be using the right formula